Chapter 14 & 15

Chapter 14

Lousy disco tunes followed the cool music, yet it didn’t make a difference. We danced like teenagers and stopped to refill our drinks only when they played slow songs. Sometimes we danced with each other and sometimes with the crowd. After four or five drinks, I convinced the DJ to play Hey Ladies so Sarah, Rebekah, Julia, and I could lip-synch while the crowd cheered us on. We acted like The Spice Girls.

After our performance, the DJ tapped on his microphone and said, “There are two things I can’t resist: Ben Franklin’s face and a sappy love story. Here’s a slow one for the romantics in the crowd.”

A few people booed as the dance floor cleared. We were on our way to flirt with the bartender when She’s Always a Woman to Me by Billy Joel began. I slowly turned back and looked around. A thirsty crowd surrounded me so I had to get closer and strain my neck to look over people’s heads. It took a minute before I found him.

Max smiled and that meant he was alone.

Making my way to the side of the dance floor, I struggled to keep it together. Max looked great. He wore a gray silk shirt and black chinos, his red hair getting long in the back. As I approached him, his blue eyes twinkled. Max always looked like he was up to something.

“Hi,” I said. “You found me.”

“I always do.” He held out his hands. “Would you like to dance? They’re playing our song.”

I looked back at my friends, who stared after me and seemed to be wondering about the hot-looking stranger. I gave them a thumb-up and turned around to follow Max. I loved watching him walk. We didn’t say a word, just held each other and danced. He smelled great. A bottle of Hugo Boss always sat in my medicine cabinet for those times I needed to smell the man on my clothes. He hummed along with the song while we danced.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he said when the song ended.

His cockiness turned me on.

“Let’s go grab a drink.” I led the way.

Sarah, Rebekah, and Julia were nowhere in sight.

“Now we’re able to talk.” Max ordered drinks.

“How have you been?” I asked, as casually as I could.

“Since South Carolina?” Max asked.

“Since the last time we really saw each other,” I replied.

“I’ve been working hard.” Max handed me a drink. “They’ve got me on a couple of different cases since we can’t seem to crack yours.”

“You have a new partner.”

“Anthony MacDonald,” he said. “One of those old-school Chicago cops, follows his gut more than procedure and always smells like sausage.”

“He should fit right in.”

“Thinks we’re going to catch you.”

“Is that right?”

“A real slime ball was killed in Boston recently,” he said. “The Bureau suspects it was either a bad business deal or your handiwork. If it was you, Avery covered your tracks like always.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Max. Are you here because you’re working or—”

“I’m here because I want to be.”

“Good.”

Our eyes met and I looked away to see where my friends were hiding. They were back on the dance floor creating a scene.

“Who are they?” Max asked, as if he had no idea.

“Childhood friends.” I played along, secretly happy that Max was able to meet my girls. And they were able to see that a handsome man was interested in me.

“The rumors are correct,” Max chuckled. “You were a child, once.”

“You probably know more about my childhood than I do.”

“Maybe.”

“Where is Mr. MacDonald now?” I asked.

“Back in Washington working.” Max put our drinks on the bar and pulled me closer to him. “I’m on vacation.”

Max had the best lips on the planet. They wrapped themselves around me and refused to let go. I gave up fighting a long time ago and surrendered to the wet world he offered me. I even grabbed his ass.

“Liv?”

I turned and the girls were standing there. I was confused, not sure which one had said my name.

“Hi,” was all I could think to say.

“Who is your friend?” Rebekah asked slowly, as if I belonged on the short bus.

“This is Max Reardon.” I felt myself blush. “Max is an old friend of mine.”

“What a coincidence.” Julia faced him. “So are we.”

As each of the girls shook hands with Max, I kept quiet. Only Sarah knew what he did for a living and he seemed to notice the knowing look she gave him.

“Are you all enjoying yourselves?” he asked.

“This has been a great vacation.” Rebekah instantly warmed up to him. “I needed the break.”

“What do you do?” Max asked.

“Housewife,” Rebekah said. “It sounds harder than it is. I investigate missing socks, juggle two kids and a husband’s ego all while Elmo is singing in the background.”

Rebekah and Max laughed together. Julia raised her eyebrows and I almost choked on my drink.

“Two babies have been through her vagina,” Julia whispered to me. “Yet she acts as if she’s still nineteen.”

“What about you?” Max asked Julia.

“I’m a lawyer,” Julia replied. “Not nearly as challenging, but the pay is better.”

Max looked to Sarah.

“I’m a nun,” Sarah said.

“You’re kidding?” he pretended to be shocked.

Max looked at me and I winked to let him know not everyone was buying his bullshit.

“What do you do?” Rebekah asked him.

“I’m on vacation, too.” Max winked at her. “I already forgot what I do.”

He was charming them; hell, he was charming me.

“How do you know Liv?” Rebekah asked.

“Olivia and I go way back,” he said casually. “We met in New York about six years ago. I’ve been chasing her ever since.”

“And you both just happened to be in Jacksonville at the same exact time?” Julia asked.

“Funny how things work.” Max looked at me.

We smiled at each other.

“I’m exhausted.” Sarah was clearly uncomfortable with the sexual vibe. “Shall we make our way back to the hotel?”

“I’m going to hang out with Max.” I knew no one was surprised. “Maybe take a walk along the beach or something.”

Julia winked to let me know not everyone was buying my bullshit.

“Have fun, you two.” Rebekah hit me on the knee.

“Real subtle, Rebekah,” Julia said as they walked away. “Why not offer them a condom?”


Chapter 15

We made it back to my hotel room in less than forty-five minutes. During the drive back, we indulged in heated silence, Prince songs, and crevice hugs. Anticipation was always our favorite sort of foreplay.



Max and I met in a coffee shop, Ron’s Homemade Goods, in midtown Manhattan. It was spring, 1994, and New York was already hot and muggy. Max was a new FBI agent looking to make a name for himself by catching one of the Northeast’s greatest criminal nuisances – me. I had spotted him earlier that morning outside my apartment; he looked out of place, with pale Irish skin and long red hair. Under normal circumstances, I’d have lost him right away, yet something about Max intrigued me. He followed me all over the city while I shopped and pretended not to notice him. That was hard to do. He got so close that I could see the piece underneath his shirt. Max was young and terrible at the cat-and-mouse game. If he hadn’t been so cute, I’d have shot the novice just to teach him a lesson.

I walked into Ron’s and ordered an espresso. Max came in behind me and ordered the same thing. Annie Lennox boomed from the speakers in the ceiling, making my mood more mellow than mean. I decided to flirt with Max and hoped to scare him off.

“You have good taste in coffee.” I picked up our identical orders and handed him his cup.

“I have good taste, period,” he said, with a sly smile.

I sat down at the only empty table and Max sat down across from me.

“This place is packed,” he said. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“I don’t know,” I said, as he sat down anyway. “I’m not sure I want to make your job any easier than I already have.”

Max studied my face. I gave him nothing.

“When you say ‘my job’,” he said, slowly and deliberately, “do you mean getting your phone number and asking you out this weekend?”

I leaned in close.

“No, Detective,” I whispered. “I mean your job trailing me all day. I’ve made it pretty easy for you, don’t you think?”

Max stirred his coffee slowly without looking at me.

“Easier than I thought it should be.” He looked up intensely. “It doesn’t matter though.”

“Oh?”

“I knew from the moment I saw you that no matter how fast you ran, I’d never let you out of my sight.”

Max got up from the table. I was stunned for a moment until I noticed he hadn’t left the shop. He was standing at the bar, amidst the crowd, watching me from the mirror behind the coffee machines. I could tell from his smile that he was proud of himself. Annoyed, I walked out without my coffee and hailed the nearest taxi.



It’s not clear when we stopped seeing ourselves as cop and criminal. Max often said that I had him from the very beginning. Throughout the years, we grew on each other. Max was amazing and every time we were together it got more difficult to say goodbye.

Walking into my hotel room, Bozack was so excited to see Max that he jumped up and licked his face.

“Do you have to go the bathroom or are you just happy to see me?” Max asked.

“He hasn’t been for a while,” I said. “Bozie get down.”

“I’ll take him for a quick walk if you want to relax,” he said.

“Okay,” I replied. “I’ll draw us a bath.”

I filled the tub with hot water and bubbles, ordered red wine from room service and searched my bags for decent music. I finally found Massive Attack’s Mezzanine and popped it into the CD player. It had been left in my suitcase from the last time we were away together and I grew wistful at the memory. By the time Max came back, I was in the tub and ripe enough to fall off the vine. Bozack ran for the bubbles as Max gently pulled him toward the other room.

“Not tonight, boy,” he said.

Bozack whimpered and pouted, with his chin on the floor, but he didn’t come near the bathtub or bedroom for the rest of the night.

The confidence Max showed the world was nothing compared to the expertise I benefited from under the covers. Depending on our mood, sex could be soft and romantic or animalistic and frightening. It was always exciting. We made love all night. In the tub, out of the tub, in bed, and down on the beach. He connected with a part of my soul left open only for him. I allowed myself to long for a happy ending and refused to let go of him. In those moments before the sun came up, Max was everything to me. Afterwards we lay in bed exhausted, fulfilled, and I rested my head on his chest. The steady beat of his heart hypnotized me as my fingers traced his soft, red hair and came to rest on his necklace. An old Claddaugh charm, I had found it in an antique shop south of Dublin.



“Happy Birthday,” I whispered into his ear the year before.

“What’s this?” he asked as I handed him a small box.

We were eating dinner in a family-owned Italian restaurant up in the Poconos, celebrating Max’s thirtieth birthday. We left our hotel room only to eat.

“How did you know I was looking for one of these?” he asked after opening his gift.

“I remember you mentioning the one you had as a kid and knew you had to have it.”
He studied the design. Two hands, meaning friendship, were holding a heart, which symbolized love. The crown on top stood for loyalty. It was rare, only a few hundred had been made back in the nineteenth century, and I stumbled upon it quite by accident.

“A bit different from the one I had as a kid,” Max said and my heart skipped a beat.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The inscription.” Max pointed to the back of the pendant and smiled.

I told myself to take a Valium.

“‘I’ll Love You Always’,” he read. “The cat’s out of the bag?”

“That inscription was on the charm when I bought it.”

“They had engravers in the nineteenth century?”

I nodded.

“Still, you do love me,” he said, more statement than question.

“More than liver and red velvet cake.”

“Wow.” Max put it around his neck. “I know how much you like red velvet cake.”
“You’re a lucky guy.”

I didn’t bother mentioning that the necklace was also a gift from Avery. A few months back, Avery had given me a tiny bug, to plant anywhere I wanted, and a tin box that made it possible to hear everything buggie picked up. Avery thought some of my contacts could place it at FBI headquarters or the Department of Justice. I had other plans. Sealed inside Max’s necklace, the bug was inconspicuous enough to work perfectly. I was a clever bitch.

Initially I felt bad for planting it so close to his heart. Therefore, I made a promise only to listen when I needed to know where the FBI was headed in their investigation. I couldn’t come right out and ask Max detailed questions about his case. After he put that necklace on, I didn’t have to.

“I’ll never take it off,” Max said.

“That’s what I like to hear,” I replied.




“I love you Olivia,” Max said and I was jolted awake, back in St. Augustine.

I propped up my head with one arm and looked at him.

“Must have dozed off for a second.” I stretched. “How long do I have you this time?”

He kissed my fingers individually.

“You’re beautiful,” he said.

“Answer the question, Copper.” I gently blew his bangs out of his eyes.

“That’s up to you.” He propped his own head up and faced me. “If you’ll go away with me, then both of our vacations can last indefinitely.”

“What are you talking about?” I sat up in bed.

“Let’s take off; I’ll quit and so will you. We’ll set up shop in a little town somewhere in the Netherlands. I’ll get a job tailoring and you’ll have tons of babies. We’ll live happily ever after.”

“Tailoring?” I asked.

“Tailoring.” He nodded. “Olivia, I have talents you don’t know about.”

We laughed for a moment before he got serious again. “You know we can’t go on like this. Sooner or later, you’re going to make a mistake and get caught. Good luck never lasts.”

“Luck is a myth.” I pulled away. “It’s perpetuated by lazy people who don’t want to
work at it. I don’t need rescuing, Max.”

“Bullshit.” He put his hands behind his head. “I can’t go on this way either. Sooner or later, my employer is going to catch on and then I’m looking at some serious problems.”

“Stop seeing me,” I said as flippantly as I could.

“I can’t stop seeing you any more than you can stop seeing me.” Max chuckled. “Despite what you do, I love you and despite what I do, you love me right back.”

“What do you mean, despite what I do?” I asked. “You and I are in the same business.”

Max grabbed a pillow, put it over his face, and screamed into it.

“You are an infuriating woman.” He swatted me with the pillow. “The same business?”

“Yes,” I snuggled back down next to him. “We both make sure criminals get what they deserve. Only when I do it, I don’t make mistakes. How many times have the FBI gone after someone who later turned out to be innocent?”

“If we had Avery and unlimited money, we wouldn’t make mistakes either. You operate with no rules; we have to follow the law.”

“Don’t talk to me about the FBI following the law. Give me a break. You guys are just pissed that I do a better job.”

“Maybe,” he said, suddenly sad. “I once was anxious to wipe out bad guys and save the world. The FBI is no longer the place to get that done. There was always a clear line that divided the perps and me, divided you and me. It’s since become obvious that there are bad guys in my line of work and good guys in yours. I worked through the shock, fell in love, and now I have different priorities. Being with you makes me feel more alive than waving my badge.”

He was scaring me.

“Besides,” he continued, “Anthony is after you and determined to bring you in. I’ve never seen someone so ambitious and when he read your case file, he actually foamed at the mouth. That guy wants to start with a bang and I believe he’ll do it.”

“You think he’s smarter than I am?”

“No one is smarter than you at this game,” Max said. “But all it’ll take is one mistake and he’ll be there with handcuffs.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“I don’t know when I can break away again,” Max said. “This is it, kid. Let’s take off or the next time we meet might be under different circumstances.”

“You can just up and leave?” I asked. “Start over in some other country and no one will ever come looking for you? Or come looking for us?”

“I have different identities at my disposal. No one will miss me. I’ll just take an early retirement, say I’m stressed out and disappear. It happens to a dozen guys every year at the Bureau. You haven’t been charged with anything and are free to come and go as you please. You should take advantage of it.”

I looked into his blue eyes and have never been so tempted in my life.

“Come on, Olivia,” he said. “Aren’t you sick of it all?”

“I like what I do, Max.”

“Aren’t you sick of only seeing me every two or three months?”

“Of course,” I said. “What’s the alternative? If we were together all the time, how do I know I could count on you?”

“If the last six years aren’t enough to convince you, then I don’t know what is.” He got out of bed and put on his shorts. “For Christ’s sake, you’re free aren’t you? Have I ever turned on you? I could ask you the same thing. How do I know you won’t get sick of me? How do I know that you won’t get bored? How do I know you haven’t been using me for the last six years to get away with murder? There are no guarantees, Liv, but I can look into your eyes and see that you love me.”

Max grabbed me.

“Look into my eyes,” he said with a fake Italian accent. “Tell me what you see.”

“You sound like Dracula.” I turned away and laughed.

“Come on,” he chided. “Don’t you see the love and lust I got going for you?”

“I see it.” I felt weak again. “I’m not good at this.”

“I know,” he said. “You suck.”

I stuck out my tongue.

“Do you think you can trust me?” he asked. “For the long haul?”

“I want to,” I replied.

“Olivia.” He got serious again and put on his clothes, “you better make up your mind because I’m running out of time. I don’t want to do this anymore; I don’t want to work twenty-hour days and live without the woman I love. I’m ready to move on the next level. If you want to continue playing games, count me out.”

He sat down on the bed and took my face in his hands.

“This is as close to a proposal as I can get without a ring,” he said.

Max justified my desire by returning it; however, the idea of jumping off a cliff holding on to his hand was more frightening than anything else life had to offer. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he quickly got up and put on his shoes.

“I need time,” I told him. “My decision doesn’t affect just me, Max, it affects a whole lot of people.”

“Don’t take too much time.” Max retrieved his keys and watch from the dresser. “I’m on my way out, with or without you.”

“This came on pretty goddamn quick,” I said.

“Please,” he replied. “This has been coming for quite some time and you know it. We’ve been building to something all these years. I mean, Christ, it’s never been casual. You don’t know the meaning of the word. So here we are. How brave are you?”
He patted Bozack and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. I shuddered at the dread building up inside of me and wanted to be sure I’d see him again.

“Hey,” I said as he was almost out the door, “how will I find you?”

“I’ll find you,” he replied. “I always do.”