Chapter 18

“What about you?” I looked at Julia. “Tell us about your first time.”

“What’s to tell?” Julia laughed. “Barry and I did it in the back seat of his car while Take My Breath Away played on the radio. It hurt like hell. Thank God it was over in less than five minutes. The highlight of the night was Barry putting up his windows. My hair got caught and the battery died so I was stuck there. He had to run inside and wake up his father for a jump start.”

“You lost your virginity in Barry’s driveway?” I asked.

Sarah and Rebekah laughed.

“If it had to be in the car,” Rebekah said. “At the very least, you could have been parked at the beach or something.”

“What did Barry’s dad do?” Sarah asked.

“What could he do?” Julia threw up her hands. “He set me free. A few neighbors peeked out to see the spectacle. Barry’s mom was humiliated and they all still hate me. Great night.”

“Take My Breath Away?” Rebekah cringed. “What a shitty song.”

“The song,” Julia said, looking over her sunglasses to peer at Rebekah, “was the least of my problems.”

“It would remind me of Tom Cruise and fuck up my performance,” Rebekah said.

“Is music that important?” Sarah looked up at the sky and smirked.

“Music is essential,” I pointed at her. “There’s exercising music, work music, nostalgia songs. A good tune can open up emotions and set the mood perfectly.”

“Personally, I can’t imagine sex without Soundgarden,” Rebekah said.

“Lenny Kravitz.” Julia licked her lips. “He gets me all juiced up.”

“Little Red Corvette,” I said. “It still works for me.”

“I had no idea.” Sarah pretended to be shocked.

“Is everyone as hung over as I am?” Julia looked around the table, removing her sunglasses to rub her eyes.

Rebekah nodded, but Sarah shook her head.

“I feel fine.” Sarah shrugged.

“So do I,” I added.

“You?” Julia winked at me before putting on her sunglasses again. “Of course you feel fine. I would, too, after a night with that sweet looking man.”

“Just tell me this,” Rebekah leaned in again. “Is he Jewish?”

“Irish Catholic,” I said.

“Damn.”

“Sarah,” Julia edged her glasses down to the tip of her nose and looked over them, “if nuns could get married, would you go find yourself a man?”

“I’m not sure.” Sarah thought about it for a moment. “I’m getting too old to be a newlywed.”

“Thanks, friend.” I tapped her knee. “What are you trying to say?”

“I might be open to the idea of dating and settling down with the right man,” Sarah said.

“You’d be interested in men?” Julia asked.

“Yes,” Sarah sighed.

“Not all nuns are fighting the lesbian urge,” Rebekah said.

“Just checking,” Julia shrugged.

“I’ve got to tell you,” Sarah wrinkled her nose, “the idea of nuns and priests being given the green light to go out and date, it seems distasteful.”

“A priest on the prowl at your local nightclub doesn’t sound too dignified,” Rebekah agreed. “Although rabbis and cantors can get married and no one thinks twice about it.”

“It’s a silly rule,” Sarah said. “I don’t see it being overturned anytime soon, though.”

“What time is everyone shuffling off?” I asked.

“I’ve got to leave soon.” Rebekah looked at her watch. “Michael is probably about to tear his hair out.”

“Yeah,” Julia giggled, “what little he has left.”

“Grass does not grow on a busy street,” Rebekah put her nose in the air.

“Barry has a full head of hair,” Julia replied. “So that proves your theory. Speaking of my bitter half, I should get going so we can have our weekly dinner and argument before he takes off to find a cheap hotel and hooker.”

I looked around the table to see if this was some kind of inside joke. No one said a thing.

“Seriously?” I asked.

Julia looked like she might open up, and then seemed to change her mind. “We do have a weekly argument and he takes off for God knows where. But I can’t say for sure about the hooker. It’s just a suspicion because he’s not getting it from me. It’s been so long, I’m practically a virgin again.”

Julia had not an ounce of sorrow in her voice, as if she were talking about the weather. We sat there in uncomfortable silence.

“I didn’t mean to bring everyone down,” Julia said. “Barry and I are starting therapy. It’s no big deal; troubled marriages are in style right now.”

She looked away and I thought a saw a tear come out of the corner of her eye.

“At least there are no children,” Rebekah said.

“If you ever need to talk, please give me a call.” Sarah had a sympathetic tone that sounded familiar.

Sarah and Rebekah gave each other a knowing look while I studied Julia. She seemed fragile and almost morose. I longed to help her, but had no idea how.

“I’m trying to get Liv to come with me for a while,” Sarah said.

“Bring plenty of bug repellant.” Julia sniffled and reached for a tissue. “And breathe through your mouth. Unless, of course, you like the smell of cow shit.”
I laughed despite the worry.

“I’ve been up to Sarah’s place a few times and it’s an excellent place to relax,” Rebekah said. “I love it up there.”

“Thank you.” Sarah winked.

“I haven’t decided yet.” I was still trying to come up with a better idea.


By the time we got our suitcases and met in the lobby about an hour later, I still hadn’t made up my mind. We gathered around and looked at each other. Sarah got emotional first.

“I’m going to miss you all so much.” She gave each one of us a hug. “I love you guys and don’t get to see you nearly as much as I’d like. Especially you.”

She gave me a light pinch on the arm.

“Let’s make this an annual thing with you, too, from now on.” Rebekah sniffled and hugged me tight.

“I’ll try.” I hugged her back. “I’m so glad we did this. I never realized how much I missed you wacky women.”

“Goodbye, Bozie.” Rebekah leaned down and kissed my dog. “I will miss you so much!”

Bozack kissed her back and moaned a little.

“You can even turn on dogs,” I said.

“It’s a gift,” Rebekah replied.

“Continue to keep in touch.” Julia linked her arm in mine as we walked toward the parking lot. “Even if it’s through Sarah, I like knowing you’re alive and well.”

“Okay.” I squeezed her arm.

Rebekah got into her Lexus and Julia into her BMW.

“Look at you two,” I remarked.

“You’re both officially part of the problem,” Sarah smirked.

“I still vote Democrat,” Rebekah said.

“Be nice, Sister Christian,” Julia said, “or I’ll ignore your calls when you need money to buy false teeth for poor drunk women.”

After they drove off, Sarah turned to me.

“So?” Sarah leaned against her Honda Accord in the bright morning sun. “Are you going back to New York or do you want to extend the good times?”

I glanced down at Bozack. “You want to go to Plant City, boy?”

Bozack yawned.

“That’s a sign.” I looked at Sarah. “I’ll go anyway.”

“Smarty pants,” Sarah said.

“After a week, you’ll be calling me something worse than smarty pants,” I said. Then I pointed at her car. “I’ll follow you through the swamplands of central Florida, but I’m shocked. Your bumper is bare. Where are the stickers encouraging motorists to honk if they love Jesus? Where are the attempts to forever taint popular sayings like ‘Got Jesus?’ or ‘Beam Me Up Lord’? How will other motorists know they are sharing the highway with a holy roller?”

“Smartass,” she said.

“That was less than a minute!” I laughed.

“Nice car.” She nodded toward my rented Escalade while unlocking her doors. “Where’s your broom?”

I clapped my hands in her direction. “This might be fun after all.”